Ten years on… a promise fulfilled

I cried this morning as I spent time with Father today.

This month ten years ago, I returned home to Singapore. I had gone to the Philippines in 1996 all stary eyed and with great zeal to make a difference in the lives of people. It took me seven years to wait and to prepare myself. I wanted to serve there for many many years but ended up coming home after only two years.

I returned a very broken person. It was probably one of the darkest times of my life. Both my father and sister were gravely ill and in that year alone, they took turns seven time to be admitted to hospital – all for death threatening crisises. I had barely recovered from one episode when we had to go through another.

Harder than these – and much that I couldn’t talk about – were the struggles I felt inside. I felt like a failure – I KNEW I was a failure – even though in public eyes I had been patted on my shoulders for braving and accomplishing much. I literally cried (even wailed) every night for almost that whole year (I was living alone).

In Singapore, I was reassigned from working among teenagers to handling communications for my organisation. I didn’t like being put there. I wanted to be with people. I thought I was put on the shelf because my leaders didn’t know what else to do with me.

There was a day during that dark season that God gave me a promise from Isaiah 61 (Click to read the Promise). I couldn’t for the life of me see how God could use me to preach good news to the poor, bind up the brokenhearted, proclaim freedom for the captives, release from darkness for the prisoners, proclaim the year of the LORD’s favour…

I remember telling him when I read it, “Lord you have to do all that to and for me… How can I do that to and for anyone when I am so broken?”

For the past two years, together with others, I have been involved with a family in the Philippines. Last month I saw the rippling effects of our involvement — it has gone far beyond my wildest imagination. The effects of salvation is so evident in their lives that members of their extended family who live messed up lives are looking up to them. Some said they want to complete their college and to make something better of their lives.

Bear with me as I quote the entire Isaiah 61 passage. The highlighted parts are the parts that God has literally fulfilled in me and in the people I am involved with… ALL GLORY BE TO GOD

1 The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
because the LORD has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,

2 to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,

3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor.

4 They will rebuild the ancient ruins
and restore the places long devastated;
they will renew the ruined cities
that have been devastated for generations.

5 Aliens will shepherd your flocks;
foreigners will work your fields and vineyards.

6 And you will be called priests of the LORD,
you will be named ministers of our God.
You will feed on the wealth of nations,
and in their riches you will boast.

7 Instead of their shame
my people will receive a double portion,
and instead of disgrace
they will rejoice in their inheritance;
and so they will inherit a double portion in their land,
and everlasting joy will be theirs.

8 “For I, the LORD, love justice;
I hate robbery and iniquity.
In my faithfulness I will reward them
and make an everlasting covenant with them.

9 Their descendants will be known among the nations
and their offspring among the peoples.
All who see them will acknowledge
that they are a people the LORD has blessed.“

10 I delight greatly in the LORD;
my soul rejoices in my God.
For he has clothed me with garments of salvation
and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness,
as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest,
and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.

11 For as the soil makes the sprout come up
and a garden causes seeds to grow,
so the Sovereign LORD will make righteousness and praise
spring up before all nations.

The past few months too Jocelyn a Filipina domestic helper that I had a part in discipling about ten years ago shared how she has in the past year seen with great clarity God’s will and calling for her life. She wants to give her life to leading people to Jesus, helping them grow and helping them help others. She currently leads a group of 10. Amazing!

And concerning my complaints about being put on a shelf… God let me shine where he put me.

I received an invitation asking me to pray about helping with communications for the Asia work.

God also opened doors for me over the past few years to be part of a writers support group where I meet people from all walks of life. My life is so enriched having friends outside of my church and the organisation that I serve with.

Last week, the Excutive Director of the Book Council in Singapore asked me to help promote Digital Story Telling in Singapore. (More about this later)

Not to us Lord, not to us, but to your name be glory.