A lesson on how to make friends

For the past three days, Mum opened her home for her church neighbourhood group to hold special prayer meetings. It thrills me no end to see her radiant and beaming from ear-to-ear. She counts it a privilege that they would come to her home. Weeks before the appointed dates for the prayer, she was already planning what to cook and how to prepare the living room so that people would be comfortable. She called Au and others to make sure they would come.

Yesterday morning, Mum gave me lessons on “how to make friends.” She told me how she would make friends with people at the bus stop. At the coffee shop, she would invite them to sit with her when she notices they are looking for a table. She said, “There’s an old lady who has a hard time crossing the road. I always hold her hand and help her across.”

Aunty Say Bay says, “Look at my special angel, she dresses and walks elegantly.” For a 76-year-old, Mummy walks briskly. It will not surprise me if the old lady she helps across the road is much younger than her!

This evening after the prayer meeting, one member commented on how privileged Mum was to have another of the old ladies come for the prayer meetings — and for three nights too! The member said, “she hardly comes for any events.” The old lady smiled and said, “it’s because she always smiles at me and greets me every time she sees me — in church, at the coffee shop, bus stop.”

Sometimes when I want to go out with her, she says, “don’t call me I’m going out with my friends.”

It’s been 11 months since my Daddy passed away. It’s wonderful to see how Mum has found a life of her own.

Photos!

Click to take a look at my ina anak!

Alysa Ruth

Everybody wanted to give her a name. Her niece, nephew, grandmother, aunty, mother’s friends, friends of friends. She has brought so much joy to the family. I haven’t seen her yet — my ina anak (godchild). I wanted her named Ruth.

Alysa Ruth.

Princess Ruth. (Her tita Au suggested the name Alysa and her mother Gen picked it.)

Ruth is a Hebrew name meaning “friend” or “compassion”. Another source says it means “vision of beauty.” Ruth is the central character in the Book of Ruth in the Bible. She was a Moabite, a people that came out of an incestuous relationship between Lot and his older daughter (Genesis 19:30-38). Hmm… not exactly the most appropriate or fair thing to say at such an occasion.

Why do we take so long to choose a name? Is it not because a name carries with it the hopes, dreams and aspirations of her parents and loved ones?

The Scripture doesn’t mince words and tells things as they are. For instance, in the Gospel of Matthew record, four of the five women named in the family line of Jesus have colourful, scandalous histories. Tamar tricked her father-in-law into having a child with her. Rahab was a prostitute. Ruth was a Moabite, and Bathsheba committed adultery with king David.

The chapter speaks volumes to me about grace and hope.

Ruth was the great, great, grandmother of king David. About 25 generations (if my calculations are correct) down the kingly line came Jesus the Messiah.

Despite her messy family ancestry (none of which was her fault, nor something she chose), Ruth was a shining light to all around her. Ruth was born at a time when “Israel had no king and everyone did what he pleased.” (Judges 21:25) When Ruth’s husband died, she could have chosen a more hopeful life, instead, she chose to stay by her very disillusioned and depressed mother-in-law (not fun company I’m sure).

Ruth’s impeccable reputation went ahead of her, “I’ve been told all about what you have done for your mother-in-law since the death of your husband—how you left your father and mother and your homeland and came to live with a people you did not know before. May the LORD repay you for what you have done. May you be richly rewarded by the LORD, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge.” (Ruth 2:11-12).

My ina anak arrived not under the brightest circumstances. She already had a special place in my heart right from the time when I first knew she was coming.

My hopes and dreams and prayers for the little princess is that she will know throughout life how deeply she is loved, and that like Ruth of the Bible, she would bring faith, hope and love to all around her.

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Addendum: Ruth happens also to be the name of my mentor who had a big part to play in my life. Interestingly, it hit me the other morning while praying for my ina anak that her big brother’s name is Warren… which is the name of my mentor’s late husband.