Beyond my wildest imagination

Father amazed me beyond my wildest imagination today. I’m exhauted but I can’t shut down till I put on record all that He is doing.

It was schedule that today would be THE day when my book would arrives. It has been a two-year “pregnancy.” What a joy it was when the book got here. I looked at it, flipped its pages again and again, admired my work, I even smelled its fresh ink – it felt so satisfying. After handling all the administration, sorting out this and that, I sat down quietly alone and celebrated with Father for the journey.

Father sent KC to help me transport the books which we plan to sell at church this Sunday. She bought 10 and her pre-believer friend took 50 to sell to her friends (she paid for the 50!).

As if that isn’t enough, when I got home, Aunty told me that Mum had come over to spend time with her. Mum told Aunty that two days ago, after Aunty came home to my place, Father spoke to her vividly and told her how much he loves her.

Mum said all these years, she had heard the priest telling her “God loves you.” But this is the first time she FELT “God loves me.”

Mum responded by telling Father, “Yes, you love me and you are the only one who never hurt me.” I am tearing even as I write this. Father has really blown my mind… I would have been quite happy that the books arrived. My mother has stolen the show today.

Just Daddy and me

Last night, my housemate went home to the Philippines. My guest went out for dinner with some friends. So I was left by myself at home. It felt strange to be alone…

I was reminded that ultimately, there is only one who can see us through life. Even people who love us may at some point leave us, not by choice but by circumstances.

Father, thank you that you are my friend who walks with me throughout my life. Please help me to cultivate my heart and life with you.

P.S. I am excited… my book is due to arrive today.

Mummy

One of the delights of my heart these days is watching my mother grow. For many years, she looked after Mama (her mother), Ee (her adopted sister, now in her late 80’s), my late sister Cynthia, my late father.

I was a growing up teen/young person trying to find myself. I always thought she was doing it because she was duty-bound. Her strict, no-nonsense ways kept me I suppose from seeing the soft side of her. We didn’t always get along.

But these days things are different. I’m enjoying 76-year-old Mum a lot more, as a sister, a friend, a prayer partner and partner in ministry. Over the past three months, with my hectic schedule, Mum has been taking over the hosting and care of 73-year-old Aunty. It is really a joy to see the playful little girl in my Mum come out. She laughs, she jokes and teases. There’s a sweetness, a nurturing side about her that I hadn’t seen before. Maybe I’ve grown up

Yesterday, I found out that she had taken seriously some of the things I had “taught” and “advised” her. I didn’t know she listened. But she did. I don’t remember having led her in Bible study, but she kept the notes all these years and initiated to do Bible study with Aunty. She reciprocates and initiates prayer with Aunty. She seems to have found a new life, a new ministry.

When I was about 12, my grandfather (Dad’s dad) died. It was the first death in my family that I experienced. It happened so quickly. I never got to say to Kong Kong the things I wanted to tell him. I learn very early in life how precious and short life is. My gifts to my late sister, to my late father and also to myself were the meaningful times I spent with them. Not the kind that was squeezed into at the last minute, but a slow consistent loving.

My heart’s wish is that Mum would have a rich and meaningful life for however long Father has ordained for her.  I want to make some good memories for us. A few days ago, I suggested we make a trip to the USA to see an old friend. I was really surprised that she got so excited about it.

What an adventure it is getting to know my mother. It puts a lot of hope in my heart that our twilights years do not have to end in droning and dragging and wasting away.

All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be… Psalm 139:16